How to Respond to Patients Who Request a Different Nurse

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4 days ago
4 min read

Few moments feel more disheartening on a shift than when a patient asks for a different nurse. It can sting, especially when you’ve been working hard, giving your best, and juggling a full assignment. However, these requests are more common than many nurses realize, and they can stem from a wide range of factors—some clinical, some cultural, and others entirely out of your control.

The key is learning how to respond with professionalism, empathy, and confidence while advocating for yourself and maintaining the patient’s best interests.

How to Respond to Patients Who Request a Different Nurse

First, Pause and Breathe

It’s okay to feel hurt or confused. Acknowledge the feeling, but give yourself space to pause before reacting. Often, the patient’s request has more to do with how they’re feeling than anything you did or your clinical ability.

Patients may be anxious, in pain, afraid, or struggling to cope with illness or loss of control. Patients may ask for a different nurse for a variety of reasons:

They’re more comfortable with someone of a different gender.
They prefer a nurse who speaks their language.
They feel emotionally vulnerable and want someone new.

Or you just happen to be the person in the room when those feelings surface. And in some cases, yes—it may come from a place of bias or discomfort you can’t fix.

Approximately 1 in 5 healthcare workers had experienced a patient or their family refusing to allow them to provide care because of the healthcare workers' personal attributes at least once in the previous year. That’s not fair, and it’s not on you to change someone’s beliefs. But you can choose how to respond.

Validate Their Feelings Without Losing Your Ground

You don’t have to agree with the request, but staying calm helps protect your peace.

You might say:

“I hear that you’re not feeling totally comfortable. Is there something I can do to help you feel more supported?”
“I’m here to care for you and want to make sure your needs are met. Can you share what’s bothering you?”
“If there’s something specific I can do differently, I’m here to listen.”

These responses do two things:

Show that you care.
Give the patient a chance to share a specific concern, which might be something minor and fixable, like communication style or comfort measures.

If they still want a change, that’s okay. You've remained kind and professional. This kind of response helps you open the door for discussion while modeling calm professionalism. It also invites the patient to share any needs you can meet, before jumping straight to a switch.

Know When to Involve Your Team

If the patient continues to insist, don’t feel like you have to handle it alone. Involve your charge nurse or supervisor, especially if:

The request feels rooted in discriminatory behavior.
The situation is escalating emotionally.
You’re unsure whether a switch is appropriate or possible.

Your team can help assess whether the reassignment is possible or necessary while protecting staff from undue harm or burden.

Reflect, Don’t Ruminate

After a tough patient interaction, especially one where you’re removed from care, it’s natural to question your actions. But try to reflect rather than ruminate.

Ask yourself:

Did I remain professional and compassionate?
Did I give the patient a chance to express specific concerns?
Did I involve the right people at the right time?

If you answered yes, then you did your job. Your identity as a nurse is not determined by one difficult moment. Debrief with your team or talk with a mentor if needed, but don’t carry the weight of one patient’s discomfort as a sign of personal failure.

Protect Your Peace

You are not less competent, less worthy, or less valuable because a patient requested someone else. Full stop.

You can be the kindest, most skilled, most compassionate nurse in the building—and still have a patient make that request. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes people project their fears, grief, or discomfort onto those caring for them.

The most important thing you can do is protect your energy and remind yourself of the work you are doing well. Think about the patients who do feel comforted by you. The ones who’ve said “thank you,” smiled when you walked in, or relaxed a little because of how you showed up for them.

You don’t have to win everyone over. You just have to keep being the nurse you are.

Take Care of You

Once the situation is handled, give yourself time to reset. The vast majority of nurses (89%) who have encountered or witnessed racism, bias, or discrimination say it has affected their well-being.

Step away for a quick walk, a sip of water, or a breath. Debrief with someone you trust if you need to. If it helps, write down what you said and how you handled it—so if it ever happens again, you’ll feel more confident.

And later? Do something kind for yourself. This job asks so much. You’re allowed to feel shaken. You’re allowed to feel proud of how you kept your professionalism, even when it wasn’t easy.

Final Thoughts

There’s no perfect script when a patient asks for a different nurse. It can feel heavy and personal, but you are not alone, and you are not powerless.

When you respond with calm, empathy, and boundaries, you’re doing exactly what a strong nurse does. You’re holding space for someone else’s experience, without losing your own grounding.

And that? That’s the mark of a true professional.

If you ever find yourself unsure of what to say in moments like these, NurseMagic™ can help you find the right words, supporting you with language that’s both compassionate and professional, so you never have to navigate tough conversations alone.